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Deal Breakers: What to Do When Your Partner’s Ideas Don’t Match Yours

Everyone has deal breakers in a relationship. Some are more serious than others, but all are worth talking to your partner about before you commit to each other. It’s vital to know what to do when their deal breakers differ from yours.

How Do You Determine Deal Breakers?

We all have boundaries, but not all boundaries are deal breakers. There are several ways to examine your deeply-held personal beliefs and determine which ones are significant enough to put a stop to the end of a relationship.

Here are some determiners of deal breakers:

  • Reflect on the past: Think about past relationships and determine what worked and what didn’t. If anything makes you sad or mad, it could be a deal breaker for your next relationship. 
  • Listen to your gut: Emotional intelligence is valuable. Consider what you’d like out of a relationship and make that clear to your significant other.
  • Consider values: Your values could also be a deal breaker. If there’s anything seriously opposed to it, it could be a deal breaker in your relationship. 

What Are Well-Known Deal Breakers?

Deal breakers will vary depending on many factors, including someone’s personal preferences, communication styles, and more. However, some deal breakers are more common than others.

Here are some of the most common deal breakers:

  • Anger issues: If someone has serious anger issues, such as punching a wall, it’s a good sign to get out of a relationship.
  • Commitment: The definition of commitment can be a huge issue. Some think it’s remaining with one partner, others are looser in definition. 
  • Lifestyle differences: Early birds and night birds, partiers and lovers of the cozy could struggle with each others’ lifestyle. 

How to Speak About Deal Breakers

Ideally, bring up your deal breakers at the beginning of the relationship. Put everything on the table and make it easy to get out if possible. If you’ve already been with them for a while, ensure you have a sit down as soon as possible to make everything clear. 

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